Im at strip club and am horny
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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