Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
