let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
