she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
