Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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