Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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