Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
