on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
