we're chasing vodka with high fives
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
