I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
