omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
