we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
