the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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