College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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