I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
