no, he came in my armpit
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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