I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
