yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
