she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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