he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
