It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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