if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
