Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
