Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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