Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
