okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
