It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
