I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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