I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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