Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
