Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
