Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
