I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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