allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Me too!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just threw up on my dentist
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
