Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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