super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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