In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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