Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize