He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
