party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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