Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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