Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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