he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
