OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
