We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
