You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
