Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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