the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
