He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
