at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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