Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize