so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
