I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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