id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize