dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
40s are totally the cure
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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