We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
