True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
