pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
